This movie was 2.5 hours of facepalms.
This.
Well, more specific the first half of the movie was an
enormous facepalm, the second half (once they get to egypt) was way better. I was actually feeling ashamed watching the movie, the acting/dialogue is so bad, and wtf is up with the fucking clichés already. Yeah there's a college full of superbabes, and the
lol omg they are so outta there nerd roommates that talk bullshit for 5 minutes for no reason whatsoever. Also, everyone is apparently on speed all the time, shouting(!) wtf bullshit right into the viewer's face all the time. God, my brain was raped. And yes, I went into the movie expecting a brainless popcorn blockbuster, but I wasn't prepared for
that abysmal writing.
What's so fucking annoying is that there's really no need for this braindead dialogue, acting nor hectic pace! What's wrong with directors thinking your movie is only cool when everyone is acting like an idiot and yelling moron lines right at the viewer's face all the time. Just cut it out of your movie and it autoimproves! Also, I cannot sympathize with moron characters on screen - I WANT THEM DEAD ASAP! BUT THAT'S KINDA BAD WHEN YOUR MOVIE IS ALL ABOUT KEEPING THEM ALIVE LOL!
The 2nd half gets better as there's less silly
"lol mom is stoned haha" and actually the action gets more scripted. Btw action: Somehow there are gigantic robots destroying everything on the screen, and yet I am left cold by the special fx and action. When you spend millions on fx, please have some interesting ideas and not just bigger explosions. The action sequences are totally uninspired. Also, dozens of different robots show up without any introduction whatsoever and get shot to pieces in seconds. TREAT YOUR FX CREATURES LIKE ACTORS AND NOT STAR TREK REDSHIRTS! Only ~5 bots have defined roles in the movie, everyone else is just cannon fodder or fillers. Also, thank you Michael Bay for not one, but
two Jar Jar Binks. And those annoying shitcans actually got two of the bigger screentime roles, wtf! Yes, everyone loves Jar Jar...
However, the movie didn't feel like ~3h to me, so at least it's not boring.
tl;dr: It's so disappointing that a director fucks up his work with moron dialogue aimed at pubescent boys and characters fresh out of the nuthouse. It wrecks a potential fun popcorn rampage into something you feel embarred to watch.
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May 11, 2024, 01:33:04 pm
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