Warlocks begone!

[Kergash]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1006/christianguildcharter.html

World of Warcraft True Christian Guild Charter™

Conquering the Virtual World for Christ, One Pixel At a Time

Background

Convert or Die is a World of Warcraft Alliance Guild on the Gaping Orifice server. The guild was formed in the year of our Lord 06-06-06 by concerned Christian students at the Landover Baptist Junior High School Academy for the Saved. The Guild leader is Billy Houston (age 16), President of Landover's Senior High youth group, and an experienced virtual evangelist. We currently have over 300 level 60 members ranging in age from 9 to 43. We also understand there are Christian guilds on other servers who are taking up the cross of Jesus Christ in game, and spreading the good news of His saving grace to ignorant, unsaved gamers.

Guild Rules

1. We do not accept Warlocks as members. The Warlock class delights in dark magic and utilizes demons, and satanic runes for assistance. In addition, if you zoom in really close, you can see fireballs coming from between their legs. Playing a Warlock is a bad testimony and could open your heart to Satanic influences.

2. We are currently not accepting Gnomes as members. Gnomes are a very small "human-like" race. Although some find them to be cute, there is a perversion that lurks beneath their seemingly innocent eyes. We found after hours of playing them, there is a glitch where if you stand next to a female, and accidentally hit your mouse wheel, you can see right up her skirt. Until the smarty-pants game coders at Blizzard fix this glitch, we will not be allowing Gnomes in our guild.

3. We do not participate in any raid that takes over 30 minutes. Long raids are a waste of precious time that is better spent PM'ing and broadcasting the message of Jesus Christ - crucified, buried and resurrected to unsaved Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and other players who are going to hell. Jesus says He will come like a thief in the night, at an hour we least expect - the current situation in the Middle East leads us to believe that His return is VERY close at hand, so sharing the Gospel message is our primary and immediate goal in playing World of Warcraft.

4. We do not play Horde characters. Horde are usually older people and/or Blizzard developers and are not as open to hearing the Gospel of Christ. Horde are also unclean, animal-like characters. Just ask yourself, What Race Would Jesus Play? Human! of course! We understand it can be argued that Jesus would also play "undead," but we're not allowing that, until they clean up their appearance.

5. Men play male characters and women play female characters. If we find you are playing a female character and you are a male in real life - you will be booted from the guild immediately. If you wonder why, then we suggest you crack open your Bible and stop acting so gay!

6. All bind-on-equip items are to be sent to guild leader, Billy Houston. He will place them in the auction house to earn more gold or sell them to IGE so we can buy more gold for higher level equipment. Wearing high level equipment is sometimes necessary to earn the respect of other non-Christian players and usually makes them take you more seriously when you present them with the message of Christ. Whenever you have more than 100 Gold on you, send 90 of it to Billy for the Guild Bank.

7. We meet in Booty Bay under the docks for Bible Study and Prayer services every Sunday afternoon at 2PM CST and Wednesday evenings at 8PM CST. These meetings are mandatory. Get on VENT! We will have a keynote speaker from our church on Vent preaching during each meeting. The meetings last from 1-2 hours depending on how many prayer requests we have at the end of the service.

8. We are an English speaking guild. If you also speak Mexican, or foreign you are welcome to join - but you need to sound your words out in English when you are on Vent so that they are clear and understandable.

Goals and Vision (God's Plan for Azeroth)

Our goal is to use the fictional world of Azeroth as a mission field whereby souls are won and people are seriously converted and become Bible believing Church-going True Christians™. Shouting Bible verses in remote regions, and whispering the message of God's love to lonely players in more crowded areas is just one way of spreading the Good News. We are very creative, and often do 5-hour walking and witnessing zergs across entire continents with a Christian army of over 200 guild members at once. It is a sight to behold, and many other players were so impressed with our unity, they became more open to hearing the Gospel message.

Just found this, and, just, like, WOW xD

[Daekesh]

So glad they don't play horde...

[Inphy]

I'm just wondering if this is real or fake. My geuss goes out to fake, because if they are serious about this, they should be checked by a psychiatrist.

[Peikko]

it's a joke

[delling]

There's a server called 'Gaping Orifice'?

WTB.

[Starbrow]

That was a pretty funny read. However, I think it must be a joke, as I don't think true christians would even mention that one could argue that Jesus would play an undead (which was a really funny remark, but I don't think it will be for a true believer).