The different toons in a raiding guild

[Cwave]

From wowinsider:

I. The Newb: The Newb has simply not gained enough experience in the game to play it at the level required by a serious raiding guild.. With time of course he may well play the game at the highest level, and perhaps he has or can make friends to guide him along, but unfortunately, raiding guilds are not in the business of educating Newbs to the point where they can function as experienced players.

II. The Noob: The Noob, distinct from the Newb, may indeed have great experience in the game, a large /played, and quite a bit of gear to show for it. His flaw, however, is that he is the man who is always right, knows all, and can be taught nothing. The essence of the Noob is an inability to learn due to a flawed and weak character.

III. The Idiot: [The Idiot] is the man who persistently says and does things that can only be described as idiotic. He has dartboard sockets, poorly itemized gear, and is always the player who fails at elements of the game not connected to gameplay, whether it's blowing up the raid on Solarian or Aran or failing at cubes on Magtheridon. He is equally unintelligent when it comes to things not specifically connected with the game itself.

IV. The Oldschooler: The Oldschooler is a common but deceptively pernicious character. The Oldschooler's world has long stopped, back in the "better days" of this game. ... The Oldschooler will rigidly adhere to obsolete ideas as to things such as game mechanisms, class balance, and the dynamics of raid encounters.

V. The Elitist: The Elitist is the guy who seems to consider it an affront to speak civilly to players whom he deems inferior. He believes that his extensive experience with and understanding of game mechanisms place him on a higher plane of existence than the mere mortals who still haven't learned so-and-such obscure minutiae.

VI. The No-Lifer: [The No-Lifer] has absolutely no life outside the game. He has no skills or interests, and most likely he does not even have a job. He lives off his parents or on welfare. The No-Lifer is often a skilled and fruitful player who has much to show for the time he has spent in game. He is problematic, however, in that owing to his lack of a life, he has little perspective on it.

IX. The Flake: The Flake is the guy who never shows up for progression, alt-F4's when things get tough, never farms his resist sets, AFKs in raids, always seems to log on late, or, when given a specific in-game responsibility, fails to carry through.

X. The Troll: The Troll is a jerk, plain and simple. He uses the anonymity and physical disassociation of the online world to antagonize others in ways he is unable to in real life. He does this because he is mean-spirited. Often he is a man with considerable personal frustration at his lack of power or personal failings in real life, who griefs others to reinforce his sense of self-worth.

XI. The Child: The Child is just that – an underage player. Many Children are nearly young adults; they are almost 18 and have driver's licenses. They are often skilled players and perhaps even precocious. Some Children are actually quite mature and can think lucidly.

XII. The Flirt: The Flirt is at least two separate people in one, who are equally to blame. Most flirting is heterosexual and takes the form of a female being humored, or starting drama, because the male majority are too immature to deal with her as a peer. Sometimes this takes the form of the female receiving loot, or being allowed to indulge in antagonistic behavior, or not being the object of criticism when she fails at her responsibilities.

XIII. The Insider: The Insider, similar to the Oldschooler, is the guy who seems to know everyone and has been everywhere, in every guild reform and every raid instance. He was there when the server came online, he was there when the gates of AQ opened, he was there for each and every server event, and he's always the guy eagerly pursuing the latest fad.

Loel

[delling]

So now, obviously, we have to match the players to the different numbers...

[Meeckah]

The WoW-Insider thats on links to the forum page (with longer descriptions) and someone beneath that posted this link!

http://anlegacy.proboards40.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=104&page=1

[Cwave]

Thats an amazing link Meeckah!
Ill copy paste for the lazy people.
__________________________________________________________

The Raid-

You raid with these people. You work with these people. These people are closer than your family. You should worry.

The GM- He’s sacrificed his family, friends, and probably a couple of jobs to drag you through new content. When the guild isn’t performing, these decisions are in question. Prone to shooting sprees, forum flame wars, and the rapid advancement/gearing of whatever toon the guild “needs”. If you can keep your mouth shut, he’ll go emo and quit before you get gkicked. Still, you do like the guy. Or did. Before he went crazy. See drunks, below.

The GM's Significant Other- Okay, so he was going to have to quit but he tricked his SO into playing. She loves it. She's terrible. You'll effectively 24 man every boss. Count on 4 constructs in the raid, every attempt. She plays a Belf.

The Raid Leader- When you stand in the flames, he dies a little bit inside.

The Heir Apparent- When the GM goes psycho, ninjas the bank, and gdisbands, you're the guy the guild is gonna look to to to fix the mess. You see it coming. You can't decide if ritual suicide or being the new gm would be more painful.

The Positive Officer- “That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Supremus, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt.” See Stoners, below.

The Negative Officer- “Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It’s Supremus for %@*@s’s sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN FLAME!” See Drunks, below.

The Healing Officer- Has this job because, as the newest officer who plays a healer, he’s stuck with it.

The Hunter Class Lead- Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. Lies frequently.

Metermaid- He's got meters running. Always. Asks for meter postage whenever he's in the top 5, which is rare, as his focus on the meters is preventing him from seeing the volcano he's pathing towards. Pulls aggro. Has yet to realize that 0 health returns 0 dps. If he's healing, you might as well just put him on raid, he's gonna heal them anyway.

Stratman- Has read every strategy on the entire internet for every boss. Unable to think critically. Knows where his talk key is. Hated by the officers. Likely to play a hunter. If this is also Chick With Accent, below, guild will probably collapse.

The Gay Guy- Affects the gay accent for effect. Upgrade decisions tend to involve lengthy discussions about gear appearance. Learned to use the dressing room function before the ‘v’key.

The Stay At Home Mom- She’s around children all day and craves adult conversation. Babbles incessantly in vent, forgetting that adult conversation doesn’t usually begin with, “So I was talking to (insert name of four-year-old child) and he says…” May or may not be on speaking terms with spouse. Is muted on vent by 90% of the raid.

Mr. Mikeless- Has a microphone. Hears the conversation and directions. Once wiped the raid because he started talking and most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player.

The Kid- So, you messed up on this guy’s interview and nobody noticed that he was 12. But, he can play. And if he gets a little bit excited when boobies are getting talked about? Hey, he’s young.

The Other kid- Remember that accountant you interviewed for the fury warrior position? And how you wondered how he’d make time to raid during tax season? He couldn’t. His eleven year old daughter took over about that time. She’s been raiding since. Mages, that’s an eleven year-old girl owning you night after night.

The Hunter Who Doesn't Do His Homework- Always good for insightful commentary and clever observation just after a wipe. "Holy Crap Man! I was just standing and shooting and this damn VOLCANO popped on me! When did they put in those volcanoes?"

The Prophet- Kept insisting that you were going to need a melee group for BT, despite the fact hat melee was dreadful for SSC/BT. Badgered the management until they broke. Plays a rogue. Shreds. Loved by the Most Devout.

The Most Devout- This is the guy who gets to play an off-spec in a big-boy raid. He's the fury warrior or the enhance shammy. He cannot believe that some fate is letting him have this much fun that he's afraid it will all come crashing down. Prays devoutly to his favorite diety that the guild won't collapse because he'll never have THIS much fun again. Ever.

The Drunks- The core of your guild. As raid progresses, their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don’t notice because you’re trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol content.

The Stoners- Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insertguildname)stoners. You’ll see who’s in there. It’ll explain a lot. Still, if these guys don't show, bosses don't seem to actually die. They’re also having more fun that everyone else combined.

The Prima Donna- Requires special attention from management. Constantly whining. Plays some vital role. Might be a main tank, mage tank, or lock tank. The officers really hate this guy and as soon as they can find another tank with 24,000 buffed HP, he’s out. Not a stoner.

The Chick with the Accent- Is the accent fake? Nobody knows or cares. Future visits to Australia/Britian/New Zealand/Alabama are now planned by all single raid members.

The Healing Pallie- Hates healing and had to go holy to see endgame. If you raid with a boomkin, a feral druid, a fury warrior, or any non-resto shaman, you are not getting a 10 minute blessing. Forget it. He hates you. God help you if he has a raid-viable alt in one of those classes; you're not even getting heals. Also, see Prima Donna.

The Departed Legend- You joined after he left. You suspect that he could not actually solo Doomwalker. But you're not totally sure.

The Disgruntled Raider- Took an unannounced, extended vacation and now has to share his raid spot with the other 11 extra dps. Very angry about this situation. Doesn't realize that ##@#*ing is making things worse. Officers pray for a gquit.

The Warlock Whisperer- Directionally challenged. Despite having run Karazhan 1.26 million times, will require a summon to Maiden's room from the entrance. Has a "summon pls" macro. Strangely, is good t moving away from volcanoes. See (you guessed it) Stoners.

The New Guy- Begins most sentences with, "That's not how we did it in my old guild on Korgath." Likely to remain guilded for approximately one week. You wonder if he'll be tellign his next guild, "In my old guild, we ran TOWARDS the volcanoes.


The Backup-He's the guy waiting in the wings for the raid slot. Totally dependable and plays about 200% better than the guy for whom he's filling in. He's got half the gear and puts out 20% more dps. Totally cool, amazingly competent. You love it when the main can't be there.


The Buff-less Wonder - Plays a class with group buffs, but "forgets" to bring the necessary reagents. Highly skilled at turning a deaf ear and blind eye to buff assignments. If reminded, will proceed to slowly buff people one by one until someone else is overwhelmed by frustration and does it for them.

Mr. Pick Me! Pick Me!- This guy is online and ready to raid. Always. Need a prot warrior? He's got one. A holy pallie? Check. Problem is, he's really bad. Like bad bad. You keep him in the guild because he's... well, he's always been in the guild. So when your main tank, back up tank, and back up back up tank have vanished Mr. Pick is ready to rock, much to everyone else's horror.

Tootsie - Has a female toon. Claims to be female. Receives many of the benefits that the other females do, people are nice to her; she gets suspiciously good loot. Problem is, she's never posted a picture of herself, and she never talks on Vent. Could she really be a girl? Sure. But who's to know?


The Dumbest Person On The Planet: No one's quite sure exactly what's wrong with this guy, perhaps human evolution really has come to a standstill. Will be the cause of 60% of your wipes until he gets a /gkick. Tell him to spread out and he'll glue himself to a squishy healer. Tell him to avoid something and he'll stand in it till dead, then complain that he didn't get any heals. Ask him to CC the yellow star and he'll pick the orange circle then claim bleeding wounds debuff on his target.

The Obvious Explainer - This guy has read Wowwiki and probably written some of it. He will stop the raid for 15 minutes before each fight to explain to all the new people (of which there are none) that this guy might produce ground fire once in a while or that the hunter adds might shoot arrows. He'll warn that the boss can hit hard, tell everyone to avoid damage, and remind the healers that they need to keep the tanks alive. It makes you a bit worried that an obviously intelligent person thinks your raid needs to be handled with kid's gloves. Sadly, you wipe a lot when he's not on"

[Starbrow]

I think we have:

The Raid Leader- When you stand in the flames, he dies a little bit inside. Delling.

The Positive Officer- “That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Supremus, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt.” See Stoners, below. Tyler.

The Negative Officer- “Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It’s Supremus for %@*@s’s sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN FLAME!” See Drunks, below. Delling again.

The Hunter Class Lead- Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. Lies frequently. Hi Gerdi!

Mr. Mikeless- Has a microphone. Hears the conversation and directions. Once wiped the raid because he started talking and most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player. Earthquake anyone?

The Most Devout- This is the guy who gets to play an off-spec in a big-boy raid. He's the fury warrior or the enhance shammy. He cannot believe that some fate is letting him have this much fun that he's afraid it will all come crashing down. Prays devoutly to his favorite diety that the guild won't collapse because he'll never have THIS much fun again. Ever. Possibly me?

The Drunks- The core of your guild. As raid progresses, their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don’t notice because you’re trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol content. Kiwimanz?

The Stoners- Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insertguildname)stoners. You’ll see who’s in there. It’ll explain a lot. Still, if these guys don't show, bosses don't seem to actually die. They’re also having more fun that everyone else combined. WHHHHAAAAAATTT?

The Prima Donna- Requires special attention from management. Constantly whining. Plays some vital role. Might be a main tank, mage tank, or lock tank. The officers really hate this guy and as soon as they can find another tank with 24,000 buffed HP, he’s out. Not a stoner. We do have one or more of these.

The Buff-less Wonder - Plays a class with group buffs, but "forgets" to bring the necessary reagents. Highly skilled at turning a deaf ear and blind eye to buff assignments. If reminded, will proceed to slowly buff people one by one until someone else is overwhelmed by frustration and does it for them. Mages. Amp.

Mr. Pick Me! Pick Me!- This guy is online and ready to raid. Always. Need a prot warrior? He's got one. A holy pallie? Check. Problem is, he's really bad. Like bad bad. You keep him in the guild because he's... well, he's always been in the guild. So when your main tank, back up tank, and back up back up tank have vanished Mr. Pick is ready to rock, much to everyone else's horror. I'm pretty sure we have some of these too... Shan's warrior comes to mind...

The Dumbest Person On The Planet: No one's quite sure exactly what's wrong with this guy, perhaps human evolution really has come to a standstill. Will be the cause of 60% of your wipes until he gets a /gkick. Tell him to spread out and he'll glue himself to a squishy healer. Tell him to avoid something and he'll stand in it till dead, then complain that he didn't get any heals. Ask him to CC the yellow star and he'll pick the orange circle then claim bleeding wounds debuff on his target. Zakuak

The Obvious Explainer - This guy has read Wowwiki and probably written some of it. He will stop the raid for 15 minutes before each fight to explain to all the new people (of which there are none) that this guy might produce ground fire once in a while or that the hunter adds might shoot arrows. He'll warn that the boss can hit hard, tell everyone to avoid damage, and remind the healers that they need to keep the tanks alive. It makes you a bit worried that an obviously intelligent person thinks your raid needs to be handled with kid's gloves. Sadly, you wipe a lot when he's not on" Delling, once again.

[Archz]

The Backup-He's the guy waiting in the wings for the raid slot. Totally dependable and plays about 200% better than the guy for whom he's filling in. He's got half the gear and puts out 20% more dps. Totally cool, amazingly competent. You love it when the main can't be there.

It's me, and you know it

The Chick with the Accent

Tamise! I loved her accent

[Hugman]

.....oh....so....true.....

can....breath...for....laughing...


Shardakan

[Gerdi]

Hay ! I never lie !! I tell you I am pro hunter !

--doh.. there it was again--

so true xD

[Smorisha]

Yes, hunter is hard to play... Ahahahahahhaha funny, NOT!